1. A profitable dress habit
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2. An ill wind
- Date:
- 1897
- Description:
- Caricature by Franklin Morris Howarth published in Puck. The text reads : 1 --Mr. Dawson: "Ah! I like these blustery, windy mornings." 2 --Mr. Dawson: "Phew! That was a gust." 3 --Itinerant hat collector: "Dings vas gomin' my vay. Dot vas a good ringer." 4 --Itinerant hat collector: "I vill schoost gover it mit dis odder von." --Mr. Dawson: "I don't wear cape coats after this. Where's my hat?" 5 --Mr. Dawson: "Well, I'll be hanged! My hat nowhere in sight. It must have blown over that wall. Well, I'm in a pretty fix! I'll catch my death of cold, bareheaded in this wind." 6 --Mr. Dawson: "Ah! Perhaps this Jew will sell me one of those hats. Have you a hat there to fit me, my friend? " 7 --The itinerant collector: "Dot vas too pad your hat plows over der vall. Yes, I haf a hat vat I schoost pought from Mr. Vanderbildt. Ach! So hellup me gracious! It vas schoost your size, undt I sell him for t'ree tollar." 8 --Mr. Dawson: "Mary, I had a very funny experience. My hat blew off and went over a garden wall. A hat peddler came along just in the nick of time and sold me this one for three dollars. It is just as good as new." 9 --Mrs. Dawson (in disgust): "James Dawson, there are no fools like an old fool! You had better wear a bonnet tied on with strings the next time you go out in the wind. This is your own hat, and has your name inside."
3. What would happen if we were all forced to tell the truth for one hour
- Date:
- 1897
- Description:
- Caricature by James Montgomery Flagg published in Judge. The caption reads : --Customer: "Are the colors in this mackintosh fast colors?" --Clerk: "Very fast; in fact, when it rains, I guarantee that they will run."
4. A useful accomplishment; or, the beauty of swelling a customer's head
- Date:
- 1897
- Description:
- Caricature by Franklin Morris Howarth published in Puck. The text reads : 1 --Mr. Hockheimer: "Ach! Mein Gott, Shakop, vy you vaste your dime ofer dot foolish pook--over dot crazy fool pusiness about dot palmistry. Dot vill nefer do you no goot votefer." --Hockheimer, Jr.: "Oh! Don't vorry, Fader--it maype gomes in handy some day." 2 --Mr. Hockheimer (after trying in vain for over an hour to fit customer with hat): "Vait, don't go, mein frendt; I see vot I gan do." 3 --Mr. Hockheimer (in anguish): "Oh! Shakop, mein sohn! Dish vas awful. I loose me a gustomer. Efery hat in der store ish too pig for his head. Vot vill I do me?" --Hockheimer, Jr.: "Calm yourself, Fader. I tries vot I gan do." 4 --"Goot morning, Mister. Oh! yes; dot hat vas entirely too pig. Say! Mister, did you effer hear apout dot science of palmistry, vot dells your fortune py der lines on your handt? Gif me your handt, I tells you." 5 --"You vas porn under a lucky planet. Your line of life vas goodt undt long, you vill live to old age." 6 --"Your power for knowledge is enormously developed. You vill become a prilliant man--a scholar, a statesman, perhaps der President. You vas a porn leader of men--like Napoleon." 7 --"You have great powers of concentration and determination--you vill succeed in votefer you underdakes." 8 --"Fader, you must have made some mistakes. Any of dese hats vill fit der great schentlemans. Give me a larger size. Goot." 9 --Mr. Hockheimer (falling on his son's neck): "Oh! mein sohn, der pride of mein life. I dakes you in bartnership tomorrow."